If Ever There Was a Time for Tears

That was very likely the last time that I will ever perform on the Timpview Stage. I'm leaving. Graduating. Hundreds of my brothers and sisters will I never see again. This was so beautiful, too. Everything was so perfect, and so happy, and so sad. I am of course looking forward to meeting new people and everything, and I know that I really will see these people again someday, but it's very emotional for me nonetheless. I just wish I could do something more for each of these people. Something that they will never forget, and will change their beautiful unique lives for the better forever. I wish that I could really show everyone how much I love them, but no matter what I do is not enough.

I can't give them a real gift by just setting up lights for their shows. It's not even enough to pour my soul into the music we play, so that our musical gift is the best it can possibly be. But what can I do? I'm so very small. Just a tiny dot in a world that billions and billions of people have lived and will live on. Most of them I will never be able to see, or help, but I want to! What can I do? I want to know.

Sometimes I think that what I've done is special, or that I do a lot for other people, but I don't. I feel terrible when I look back at how many people I could've helped, but I was too caught up in my tiny little world of my own to notice. I was too selfish, or too "busy" to help one of my eternal siblings in a time of need. And here I am again, being "tired" when there's so much work to be done--that needs to be done and needs me to do it.

My thought train sort of ran away from me there. Basically, I will very much miss the Timpview Band when I have to leave, and all of the people in it. And all of the other people that I've ever met. I even miss the people who I haven't met yet and it's driving me insane! I know that there are so many people out there who I know and love, but I don't know how I'm going to find them!

I'm so very excited to serve a mission. I want to find my brothers and sisters, and make sure that we can get back to the celestial kingdom together.