Bobby Watson

I don't know how or why this happened, only that it did. Also, chances are that it is not actually worth your time to read. In fact, I don't know why I'm posting this on my blog. It will likely convince people that I am a little more than strange. No-matter. Feel free to stop reading when you get bored. In fact, I bet you'll yawn sometime between now and the second paragraph at least once, but you might even yawn twice. Oh, and here I go: *YAWN*

Now, I begin:

Hello. My name is Bobby. Bobby Watson. I was named after my Father, Bobby Watson, who for some reason felt it expedient that he should never marry until he met a female Bobby. This obviously led to confusion when my mother decided that my sister should be named after her, and thus became yet another Bobby Watson. If you think that this is a bit strange, just wait until you find out that this is actually nothing new in our family, for our grandparents on the paternal side are also all named Bobby Watson, and somehow my Mother managed to convince her parents to change their last names to Watson as well, leading to a few more Bobby Watsons in the mix.  It also just so happens that old Bobby Watson, my Paternal Grandfather, co-founded a commercial traveling business with my Maternal Grandfather, called “Bobby Watson and Bobby Watson CT.” Unfortunately, very soon after that my Maternal Grandfather passed away, and his brother had to take over his portion of the business. Their business had just started to gain popularity, so they could not very well change the name of the business, so instead my grand-uncle changed his name to Bobby Watson too!

Everything was going along fine until old Bobby Watson began to feel ill, and there was much fear that he would pass away. Because he was an only child he would have to pass the job down to one of his sons. Now, the clear choice here would be to pass it to my father, Bobby Watson, because then the business would retain the same name. Unfortunately, all of his siblings became jealous, as the Bobby Watsons did very well at commercial traveling when there was no competition, and so they also changed their names to Bobby Watson. Before he could change his will, he sadly passed away, so my Father inherited the business anyway. Shortly after that my father passed away as well, under suspicious circumstances, (and he was the handsomest corpse in Great Britain,) and the business became my Mother, Bobby’s.

Unfortunately, I am still very young, and I have much to learn, but I have nobody to pay for my education, so my Mother must teach us herself, which makes running a commercial traveling business a very difficult thing indeed! However, lately she has seemed very interested in a cousin of Bobby Watson’s! The late Bobby Watson’s (my father’s) other uncle (brother of my mother’s co business-person) has a son named Bobby Watson, and they might very well get married! A couple months ago there was no hope of that, because then there would be no way for Bobby and I to obtain our educations, but the late Bobby Watson’s siblings have taken a liking to us recently, and might very well pay for our educations!

But if only things were that simple. My Uncle would love to pay for my education, but he and his wife Bobby Watson have just had a son named Bobby, and because Bobby Watson, my Uncle on the Paternal side, brother of the late Bobby Watson, wasn’t in My Grandfather’s will, he hasn’t been doing so well in his own commercial traveling business, and won’t have enough money to pay for my education so that my Mother can marry Bobby Watson unless when my mother’s co-business-person Bobby dies, my uncle is in that will to receive the other half of Bobby Watson and Bobby Watson CT , which is unlikely to happen as long as Bobby Watson, the late Bobby Watson’s other uncle’s son is doing badly at his commercial traveling business. Matters are much simplified for my sister Bobby, because our Aunt Bobby Watson can afford to pay for her education as long as my mother relinquishes her half of Bobby Watson and Bobby Watson CT to Bobby Watson, which she could do and still live quite comfortably if she married Bobby Watson, son of the late Bobby Watson’s other uncle, because he has his own commercial traveling business and is doing so marvelously that he might combine with Bobby Watson, my uncle, to form Bobby Watson and Bobby Watson CT2. The only problem with this is that if this happened, nobody would be left to take over the other half of Bobby Watson and Bobby Watson CT, which couldn’t work out because the contract is still under Bobby Watson’s name!

When all of this confusion is all settled out, and when I’m old enough to get married, I am going to personally end this madness. I am not naming my child Bobby Watson, I am naming my child Bobbie Watson, with an IE instead of a Y, so that you can tell one Bobby Watson from another when they’re together!