Today an extreme series of events transpired, leaving people wondering if the end of the world is coming early. First off we have reports that the leaning tower of Pisa fell over... the wrong way. No, nobody was prepared for this, and they didn't even get a decent picture. The country of France is in panic as they search for their beloved Eiffel tower which apparently went missing early this morning. "We are willing to surrender to get it back." Says Frenchman Remi Whey.
Meanwhile everyone in Asia is running from the great wall of china which turned into a giant serpent and started looking it's mother. The Washington Monument somehow got turned upside down, mount Rushmore started singing a barbershop quartet, Niagara falls is flowing backwards, and the weather in Utah seems to have stabilized. Astronomers are perplexed to see that the sea of tranquility has been filled with Jello, Orion fought off Taurus using the big dipper, And Jupiter got engaged to Neptune using one of Saturn's rings. Satellites show that Iceland has melted, Hawaii is on vacation, and Italy finally completed that punt.
"We've all been put into a time lapse for ten thousand fortnights." Says highwayman Noah Everysing. "I can tell because my watch is no longer synchronized with my microwave."
World leaders have taken drastic measures to ensure that everyone remains calm. The Germans took inventory on their wine stores and the prime minister of Canada even released the new snow cone flavor that their scientist has been researching for decades. "I don't really know what's going on," Governor Paul S. E. admits, "But it's okay because I switched to Geico."
"Hopefully everything will turn out in the end." President Louis N. Toomy assures America "I guess if you're reading this it means we fixed the biggest problems, because currently the Internet is down."
No comments:
Post a Comment